Normal Gets You Nowhere

Hello to whoever might be reading this <3

I hope you guys are having an amazing Friday and I wish ya’ll a blessed weekend. I just got back from the post office, dropped some more LL parcels, having my favourite Irish Cream Latte and chillin’ a bit. Feeling so blessed to be able to move a little again so i used all the chances and was working on some visuals since the moment I woke up. I also figured that probably 80% of people avoid asking for my number when i’m out because of how fast i’m walking (trust me, some literally have to run to approach me, so well done me, haha). As if I wasn’t on my vampire shit enough, i now have to actually stay away from the direct sunlight because of the new meds i’m being treated with since Thursday. I was extremely anxious about the doctors (It’s my first time registering with them in all these years I’ve been in UK, cause I’ve never had anything life-threatening besides myself happen to me before and even if i had, doctors would be the last people i’d go to due to my horrible experiences with them in Lithuania. When I was brought to the emergency during that SA when they’ve locked me, the first doctor who approached me started to judge me straight away!!! I was barely conscious, the idiot was giving me a fucking life lessons and the fat creepy fuck wasn’t even related to the mental health…) but i had the best time at the clinic and it really gave me that hope in doctors i needed so much. I was losing my hope in regards of health cause my health starts to go downhill whenever i finish the meds and it was getting worse every day, but when they saw what i’ve been on and the situation in general hasn’t changed much (also the registration process was taking some time and they said that i might have to wait longer for the appointment) i got the chance to see my amazing doctor almost an hour later.

As expected, my life has been improving ever since I got off the grid. When i got rid of my social media, I went to one of my favourite places on earth – Cinema and damn, I really really needed it. I’m a sucker for popcorn, nachos and Tomb Raider. It’s one of my favorite movie franchises since childhood, along with the Mummy and Indiana Jones haha. You can guess what I’m into if it ain’t horror or a thriller genre.  It wasn’t planned at all, but I was always a spontaneous soul when it comes to adventures and everything everything EVERYTHING rn happens to point me further into the right direction. Although the movie was predictable AF, I’ve enjoyed every second of it (and my popcorn ofc haha)  it brought me closer to home in a way and gave me the boost of the inspiration regarding the adventures and changes that i needed so much.

I’ll probably be going somewhere to film on Monday after my X-ray, i just can’t live without the places I used to spend most of my time at. Anything abandoned, with rich history simply charges me with that energy i need so much. Channelling energies from the past (well technically not so much since they still exist, but you get my point) is an amazing experience. It’s like the air to me. So yeah, no time to sleep, there is so much to discover and cover. I’ve been wanting to go back to do what i love the most besides the work for years now so when, when all we’ve got is right now. *Keeps on sippin’ that second hella huge mug of Irish Cream Latte* Speaking of the bigger changes that have been long overdue, I’m looking for a nice middle of nowhere kind of place around the London to move to as well as getting my driving licence and the ride. Never been into driving myself (although i’m living for the roadtrips) but since i’m positive there’s a lonely life of isolation ahead, i want to make sure i can at least get myself where i need without anyone’s help and i will also drive the shit out of it cause i’ll be able to go wherever the fuck i want which is tempting enough to go through that learning bullshit.

Although that car might not get your ass far, but i’m certain normal won’t get you anywhere either. I highly recommend to read this book by one of the killa ladies in the game, my personal inspiration  since i can remember (Fortunately I’ve discovered Kelly Cutrone when I was like ~13-14) to anyone who’s into going hard or going home basically. It has always been all or nothing for me and even though I’ve exceeded my very own expectations at times, I can’t stop continuously winning, can’t see me losing #nothingspromised.

I once again want to wish everyone an amazing and inspiring Weekend and I’m going to fill myself with some inspo too. Be very careful with the shit you’re brainwashing yourself with. I’ll end this post with one of the pieces by the 1st, One & Only. That still makes it 3, right?

xoxo, Beth

No Comments

Post a Comment